It's a Disease, Break the Cycle! #BellLetsTalk

Growing up with a Problem Drinker...

 20 years later

My husband and I are the first generation to break this cycle in both of our families. 

I was born and raised here in Ottawa, Ontario. My father was of Vietnamese decent, he WAS an alcoholic. If you look at me you would never know that my family was the way it was, but then you also wouldn't know what goes through my head if I don't tell you. 

When I was growing up I remember my mom working, working and working I rarely saw her. She would always have breakfast on the table, lunches made and dinner ready before she left for the day. She didn't speak English and couldn't read or write. When she came home she would have 2 cases of Budweiser for my father. 

You see my father had his own room in our house, so that he could drink and watch TV. This is what he did all day, while my mother was working and my brother and I were at school. Everyday when my mom came home my brother and I would have to refill his bar fridges in his room. You did read that correctly, he had 2 bar fridges. He went through a case and a half most days, that's about 36 bottles of Budweiser from the time he was up to the time he passed out.  You may wonder why my family kept providing him alcohol and kept his demands. He was violent and relentless, that's why! When my brother and I misbehaved or disobeyed, we were punished. I still vividly remember my father lighting a glass cup for a minute and myself yelling and begging him not to do it. The cup was red from the flames and was scorching hot, my father took this with his oven mitts and pressed it firmly to my brothers back. This was his punishment for not going to school, cause sickness shouldn't prohibit you from going to school even if the school says you can't go cause you are sick. He still to this day has that ring on his back. I am the youngest of the family, so I didn't endure as much. My usual punishment was being hit with a bamboo stick until a wound open up and Hot chili peppers rubbed in. Not that bad, eh!

This was the way of life until my early teens, you see my father passed away of lung cancer and liver disease. But 20 years later I still deal with a multitude of issues from this disease that engulfed my family. 

I Grew up with a problem drinker and this is how I know!

1. I constantly seek approval and affirmation
2. I fail to recognize my accomplishments
3. I fear criticism
4. I am very uneasy when my life is going smoothly, I continually anticipate problems.
5. I feel more alive in the midst of a crisis.
6. I still feel responsible for others, as I did for my father.
7. I can care for others very easily, yet find it difficult to care for myself
8. I isolate myself from other people
9. I respond with fear to authority figures and angry people.
10. I feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of me.
11. I attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and/or abusive.
12. I cling to relationships because I am afraid of being alone.
13. I often mistrust my own feelings and the feelings expressed by others.
14. I find it difficult to identify and express my emotions

Alcoholism is a family disease


My family works hard everyday to break the cycle and I am speaking out as part of a healing process for me.

If you or someone you know needs help please see the contact information below.



Are you troubled by someone's drinking? (Video)

Al-Anon - Ottawa

Telephone Answering Service
(613) 860-3431
Service Téléphonique en Français
(819) 669-0543

Al-Anon World Service Office
(888) 425-2666