I Am Not in the Clear and I Am FIGHTING.
This feeling, this thought, this moment will pass!
"The Depression monster floats around endlessly, always covering his eyes to hide itself from the outside world. Because of this, it always bumps into people or other monsters causing more distress to itself each time. Its only relief is to wrap its fluid tail around a victim and share its depression with them. The victim is unaware of the monster but will register a heaviness and will develop a state of deep depression. Meanwhile the monster absorbs any positive emotions from its host until it has had its fill and moves onto another host.”
I don't claim to be perfect, I am not now nor have I ever been. I have bullied others, others have bullied me. You don't know how much I fight to make my life seem normal. My life is difficult to explain.
I am still dealing with issues that are unclear to me, one day I am fine the next day I feel like I am falling. When I am falling, I am falling hard! I feel like it is making up for the day that I was feeling good.
Listen! I keep on falling back into the relationship trap with depression and it is a hard battle. I am Thankful for all of the support that I get from friends and family, but like I said depression doesn't care. It wants my happiness and I am reluctant to give it up! I have a PLAN, it will work if I stick to it and move forward.
Depression robs me of any happiness that I have, leaves me numb and lonely. I feel like a failure, my job isn't satisfying and contributes to my problem. I cannot tell you when I will come out of it and when I will feel like myself again but when I do, I WILL know and work to keep it that way.
I will find and Love myself and others
I will work on being compassionate
I will show affection towards others
I will allow my anger, fear and worry to PASS
I will work on my happiness
I will try to be good and do no harm
I will TRUST
I will HELP
Believe in yourself, have courage, and rise up beyond adversity.
~ Dalai Lama
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