Will you ever belong to yourself again?

You Belong to me...

a letter from depression

Hello Cat,


Guess what,you know the last two days where you had energy and felt like you were making major progress and thought maybe just maybe you would be getting rid of me? You thought wrong!

My apologies for leaving you so soon! Please accept this wonderful gift that I thought you would enjoy oh so much. I give to you my friend ANXIETY.

When you wake up you will feel like you can't get out of bed, you will think that you are not a good wife and that you deserve to be alone and that nobody wants you. Your daughter hates you, you don't deserve to have children. I know you are holding back those tears and moving forward without me, but you know I still have a hold on you.

When you get to work and I do mean when, I will fill your mind with self doubt. You know you are where you are because you are not good enough. This is the perfect time since you are alone all day to tell you and convince you that you are not good enough for your husband. He is going to leave you and you will have to fend for yourself. Friends, what friends they don't care about you and you don't deserve any friends anyway.  Go ahead call your husband or friends to calm your nerves, it will only be temporary because you know you will dwell on it till it's time to leave. Do you really think that cupcake is going to help, just like the caffeine you stopped drinking? You know while you work here I will suck the soul out of you! This job isn't challenging enough, it gives you time for your mind to wander which gives me time to control your thoughts, emotions and being. That stiff neck, headache, backache, sweating and nervousness is just me and my lovely pal Anxiety. Do what you can to occupy your time but I know that I have 8 hours of your time Monday to Friday to manipulate and control you.

Your work day is over and I am still with you! You don't need to pick up your daughter, she hates you anyways. You don't deserve what you have in your life. You are ugly, you are fat, you are dumb, why should anyone love you? Why should you have friends! I am here and no one will help you.

I belong to MYSELF

answer to depressions letter

Oh, hello Depression!

How nice of you to join me on this wonderful day. I never thought that I would get rid of you just keep you at bay. So, I think that it is working quite well. 

A gift, for me? Thank you, you are to kind. This wonderful gift you brought will bring me a great new awesome challenge. 

Come to think of it I thought I was just coming down with the flu, but thanks for letting me know it was just you. Why do I have a husband still if I am not a good wife? Hmm...  his side of the bed was still warm and that loving kiss he gave me reiterates that he LOVES me. You keep on saying nobody wants me, then why are you still here? Obviously, you can't get enough of me! 

Ouch, that stung! My daughter can hate me all she wants, but having a child is a privilege and it's my responsibility to show her how to love. You can hold on to me as long as you want because all I want is to keep you at bay. IF you decided you want to leave, I would be happy as well. 

I got to work just in time to get a message from my husband asking if I got to work, cause we both know your game. My friends also know about you and guess what I got a message from them too. I may not deserve friends after what you are putting me through, but they stay because you have most likely affected them too. That cupcake tasted delicious and that is why I had it, you may have had a part but don't let that get to your head. I only stopped drinking caffeine because I was tired no matter how many cups I had, especially when you are around. 

I never invited you to come over and stay with me, but since you've been here you have brought me this ugliness, you have put so much weight on me and you just won't stop your stupid comments. Why do you love me so much? Why do you want me to be your friend and why do you need my help relentlessly? If you really need a friend, I don't think you deserve one! 

So, if you want to stay a little longer be my guest but know that as I write this you are slowly disappearing. When and if we meet again, I'll know who you are. 

xo Cat